Own Your Feeling and Thoughts

The book...

• states that our feelings & thoughts can sometimes be obscured by the way we use language; we twist "our responsibility for how we feel & what we think."
• tells us that by using statements like "You're so demanding" or "You make me mad", we sometimes put the "blame [on] others for our responses to what they say."
• conveys that "we, not others, are responsible for our feelings." By telling others that they make us feel a certain way, we put the responsibility on them & we deny the responsibility as our own.

How I understand the concept...

• How we take what others say to us may cause us to feel certain ways & think certain things, they don't directly cause our responses.
• We must take responsibility of our feelings, we can't blame others for our emotions.
• By owning up to our thoughts & feelings we are able to address our emotions & deal with them before they get out of control, most of the time.

Application to my life...

I think I might be struggling with this concept. Or I might not be. Actually, I'm not quite sure.

For example: I never tell anybody "You make me mad!" I never start off how I'm feeling with "You..." I just simply state "I'm mad" or "I'm hurt". By doing that I'm not verbally blaming another person for how I'm feeling. But I think on the inside I kind of harbor on the fact that another person made me feel that way. When it comes to feelings I don't really like to discuss them, like the deep emotional kind. That's where I struggle. I just keep them pushed down on the inside. To practice this concept in a healthy way I need to not push down my emotions. Instead I have to get them out in some way, shape, or form. By talking about them, writing them out, or some way that will be good for me.

 Additional Info...

This person used humor as a way for them not to deal with their thoughts & feelings. He didn't fully own up to their emotions. I say fully because they did bring the topic of their feelings up, but they didn't express them.